Have you noticed how some people constantly seek attention and approval, while others hesitate to share their views because they fear being judged?
On the surface, they seem very different. One appears confident and outspoken, while the other appears insecure and withdrawn.
Vedanta suggests that both may be struggling with the same underlying problem: low self-esteem.
The person who constantly tries to appear superior is often looking for validation through status, achievements, knowledge, or recognition. Their sense of worth depends on feeling important in the eyes of others.
The person who stays silent is also seeking validation, but in a different way. They worry about criticism, rejection, or looking foolish. Their sense of worth is equally tied to what others might think.
Both are looking outside themselves for something that can never be permanently found there.
This is why self-esteem built on external factors is so fragile. A compliment makes us feel good. A criticism brings us down. Success boosts our confidence. Failure shakes it.
Our emotional state rises and falls with circumstances.
Swami Vivekananda repeatedly reminded us that our true worth does not come from titles, achievements, praise, or approval. It comes from our true nature.
The more we depend on external validation, the more anxious and insecure we become. We constantly need reassurance that we are good enough, successful enough, or important enough.
Real confidence emerges when we stop asking the world to define our value.
This does not mean becoming arrogant or indifferent. It means recognising that our worth is not something that needs to be earned from other people.
When that understanding begins to grow, something changes.
We become less afraid of criticism and less dependent on praise. We stop comparing ourselves so much with others. We become more willing to express our thoughts and contribute without constantly worrying about how we will be perceived.
The superior ego and the inferior ego are both asking the same question:
“Am I good enough?”
Vedanta offers a profound answer.
Your worth is not determined by the opinions of others. It is already present within you.
The more deeply we understand this, the less we need validation from the world, and the more freedom we experience in our daily lives.
Vedik Mind 